My Third-Life Crisis

feeling as free as a photobomb ninja
photo: ronch willner

I don’t want to live forever, I want to live to be 75 years old and not a day more, dammit.

Today, on my 25th birthday I am living my life more fully than ever before. 25 years sounds like a long time as I sit here today and wonder where it all went. The first third of my life seems a constant struggle to get somewhere.

To finally to be old enough to go to school,
to eventually to be old enough to drive,
to get through college,
to get a job — to get a better job,
to keep moving onward & upward.

Sure enough I got all these things, I could go places.

The hard part was realizing none of these things were what I actually wanted.

Enter my “third-life-crisis”- much cooler than a midlife crisis because I still have hair and the foolishness of youth to propel me headlong into whatever my heart desires.

Sitting at Thanksgiving dinner with my dearest friends’ family, I looked around and saw a beautiful, loving, people who wanted nothing more than to spend this day together. It warmed my heart to look at the faces in the room and see delight at the simple act of getting together for a meal around the table.

With that – mid-dinner – I slipped away to the family computer, logged onto Orbitz and bought a one-way ticket to Greece, knowing I was not coming back to California for a LONG time. I rejoined the dinner table feeling every bit as ecstatic as the family, but for my own reasons.

With the click of a button and $732, I made the biggest change of my life  — I was leaving America and living for myself, come what may.

I suppose this is the equivalent of the sports car purchase, and just as impulsive, however, a sports car can be parked in the garage or sold- my ticket was non-refundable and only 97 days away.

The next three months are a blur. Job resignation, terminated relationships, giving away every worldly possession that didn’t fit into my Kelty, selling my car, whirlwind trip to Hawaii, and finally getting into the car and heading to the airport.

It felt awful, rotten, painful, every bad emotion you could feel, I felt it. There were days I wondered what on earth was wrong with me, throwing away a perfectly good job that I loved (and in this recession?!) saying goodbye to people I love with every beat of my heart, leaving the land that I adore- the beautiful Central Coast of California. The day before I left was the second worst day of my life- hands down.

Reading all that would make any sane person ask “well WHY did you do it then?”. Friends, I am thrilled to report that every single day since then have been the best days of my life. As the airplane’s wheels lifted off the ground and America became a small speck in my peripheral vision, I focused myself ahead, into the next chapters of my life.  I miss things and people of “the old life”, but I am so content now: living in peace, living for myself, in harmony with my desires.

So today, 25 years from the first breath of life I took, I am inhaling deeply the air of my favorite place on earth- Olympia, Greece. In 10 days I will leave my darling Greece for a country I have yet to discover- Spain! There I will meet with friends on the beautiful Canary Islands to celebrate two people joining their lives in love before their families.

I could not be more excited to be able to partake of such a unique experience and share the happiness these amazing people have brought into my life. The next month I am off to explore Portugal and enjoy the coast and blazing sun.

The end of the month will bring my ears the music of Matisyahu & Dub Inc at the two day Sumol Summer Festival in Lisbon. July and August are up in the air, I have nothing but possibilities open to me.

You cannot imagine the immense pleasure I get at knowing these are the months of my life: my choices, my happiness, my dreams, are finally mine.