A Traveler Reborn
More than I would have ever expected, I have run into people with a negative attitude toward my decision to take a RTW (Round the World) trip. While I understand their feelings of confusion, anger, fear, resentment, jealousy- whatever it may be- I sometimes want to be able to scream “It’s NOT ALWAYS easy for me, either!”
Yes, I am going to explore the world. Yes, I will see things with my eyes that people who have lived decades longer than me never will. Yes, I will be free. I won’t have to show up to work every day. I won’t have bills. I won’t have
an alarm clock. I will answer to myself, and only to myself. I will wake up in the morning and do whatever it is my heart desires. When I wake up, I could be falling asleep in a different country that night. It is exhilarating, amazing, wonderful… a beautiful journey.
I am also leaving everything I have ever known and loved for what could very possibly turn out to be an awful experience. I will have no car. I will have no job. I will have NO HOME. Homeless. I am aspiring to be homeless- let’s make sure we’re all clear on this point. I will have no safety net. If I get into a jam, I am my only backup. If I am robbed, I have no one to spot me cash to make the calls to my bank. When I get sick (knock on wood, cause I haven’t yet!) I will have no one to take care of me. I am relying solely on myself- and while it is liberating and empowering it is also equal parts terrifying and nerve wracking.
So friends, before you criticize my trip, or make a grand show about how “lucky” I am- please remember YOU could do this! Any single person reading this blog has the option and the ability to make this happen for themselves. I just happen to have the desire and grit.
I am not lucky. I am not unlucky. I just am. I made the decision, I calculated the risks / rewards and I am gambling in the biggest sense of the word. It might not work out. I might hemorrage my money and have to return to the 9-5 prison. I might get on the road for a few months and get real tired, and realize I was out of my mind.
But then again, I just might hit the road and feel that familiar spark of travel igniting my soul. That spark when I see my feet walking, but feel like I am floating. I look out and my eyes capture everything I see and in one instant, a solid memory is formed. I will come back here many times in my mind. My brain is on overdrive with new sights, sounds emotions, thoughts, language, people, food, buildings- everything. I am an infant again. I have to relearn everything I have known…. I just might feel that again.
For me, the chance to feel that way is something I cannot turn my back on- at any cost. The loss of friends, loved ones, possessions, jobs, my home town… it’s all worth trading in for the chance that I get my travel spirit back.
'It’s not easy for me, either.' have 7 comments
January 18, 2010 @ 5:38 pm Leilani
Anyone criticizing your trip is out of their mind. And yes, anyone could do the same. I would, but I have a mountain of debt I need to hack away at first. And, I so understand the nervousness you feel. But the journey will be worth it, no matter what.
I’m just looking forward to the journaling and, in the end, the book/movie that comes out of this!
I downloaded a free song on iTunes a couple of weeks ago (I think), and it’s pretty close to what you’re going through right now. Here are the lyrics: http://www.metrolyrics.com/satisfy-lyrics-vedera.html
Le sigh…
January 18, 2010 @ 8:02 pm Steve Kramer
Leilani, the people who criticize aren’t crazy. They’re just scared! Scared to choose.
Imagine living the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if …
And Brandy? You are likely to experience all those emotions, positive and negative. Savor them! You have rarely or never been so alive in your entire young life.
We could accept how THEY feel, if only we knew that they are truely happy with their choices.
Hugs!
January 18, 2010 @ 8:11 pm Paula Swenson
“You can be what they make you into, or you can make your own luck” — Jules Shear
You ROCK, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
~peace and joy~
January 19, 2010 @ 8:50 pm hydrojen
Awwww Brandy….Steve is correct in saying that these people you speak of…they are scared. What each and every one of us does with their life, is a choice, that only we can make. If you want something in life… you have to go and get it. You are wise beyond your years darlin’.
I am soo excited for you and hope to be with you every step of the way through your journaling AND if you’ll have me… meeting up with you to share some of your experience and have my own little piece of heaven! Maybe my timing will be right and you will welcome the familar face and I can lend some comfort so you can refuel and continue on your journey to see what the next adventure brings.
Don’t you listen to those scardy cats! They probably haven’t ever been out of this county.
Muuuuaaaaaahhhhh
February 1, 2010 @ 3:45 pm stayadventurous
I loved this line…”I am not lucky. I am not unlucky. I just am.” And yes you are. We all are. So true.
And know, even when you return people will still not understand your decision. Some will actually root for you to return to your “9-5 prison” (another great line) others just happy when (or rather if) you do. But you will not be the same. You will change. Maybe not all for the better, but definitely not for the worst – yet changed. And honestly, you’ll never even imagine a life without your journey. That is what is most amazing.
So as my prison warden (boss) told me “vaya con dios.” (he was one of the few supporters I had) Plus, you’ll have a blast. When you think of it, how can you not…
stay adventurous,
Craig
September 22, 2010 @ 7:00 pm Lena Kozlova
I get this a lot lately… “Shut up, you’re lucky – you won’t have winter this year!”, “Oh look who is talking, you’re tired – you’ll have half a year of nothing to worry about!”
As if I won a lottery and not have been saving, planning, hoping and making some spine-chilling decisions…
September 22, 2010 @ 9:33 pm livevicuriously
exactly! yeah… its not TOTALLY terrifying at all…