When I say Amsterdam you say “ahhhhh yeah”, but today it’s going to be for a different reason.
On the heels of resolutions-remorse comes the second worst time of year: Valentine’s Day.
This commercial atrocity will be flooding your news feed before you can say “stop it Hallmark, we’re just friends”. Relief is here though, and it’s in the form of one of Europe’s most romantic cities: Amsterdam.
Here’s why this green city should make you see red- and not in the violent way, but in the “I’m most likely going to get laid if I don’t mess anything up before we get back to the hotel” way.
Bicycles Built For Two
Does it get an more romantic than pedaling around the fresh air while staring at your significant other’s rear end? There’s even a childhood song* about it, and if there’s an aphrodisiac more powerful than nostalgia, it’s probably illegal. All about renting bicycles in Amsterdam- sorry, no eye candy included.
* further research shows this song is immensely unfortunate, and the sweet marriage proposal was shot down due to lack of a cash monayyy. Now, I ain’t sayin Daisy’s a gold digger, but…
Van Gogh Museum
Ahhh, the tortured artiste who ripped out his heart, cut off his ear, and left us with the taste of absinthe still strong in our mouth. There’s something about staring at the work of a love torn genius that makes you snuggle up to your lover and hope they don’t turn maniacal when you leave them. Buy your tickets to the Van Gogh Museum here, so you look like a pro when you show up.
Sustainability is sexy, and when you practice it, good things happen. Tell your love that harvesting and exporting the flowers is environmentally unsound, so instead you brought her (or him, or your imaginary “friend”) to them. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of panties dropping. Take a stroll through the gardens and spend some time soaking up the natural beauty of Amsterdam… but please, no hanky panky in the tulips.
Aside from getting sky high in cafes in Amsterdam, they’re also a great place to cuddle up and spend a few hours making nearby patrons nauseated at your displays of affection. Try spoon feeding each other latte foam for ultimate canoodling points, and maximum loathing from singles in proximity. Losing yourself in each others eyes is a great romantic tension builder, but baby talk is taking it too far, even if you are high.
Red Light District
Did you really think I was going to leave this out? Nothing says bow-chika-bow-now like window shopping for women (erm, mostly) who will do the Halifax Fudge Badger for only 12 euro. Remember, it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite- as long as you eat at home…